YossariansWingman's Xanga

Adios, Lou Dobbs

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 20:48:59 GMT

I hope that Lou Dobbs loses whatever new job he hopes to get to an immigrant.

That's all.

"Men are not punished for their sins, but by them."
-Elbert Hubbard

Adlai Stevenson, Why He Rocked.

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 00:19:52 GMT

Every few months I get to thinking about my favorite American of the past century, Adlai Stevenson.

He was a man who firmly believed that education was the only true path to righteousness. He was an egghead with an iconic wit, and hardly anyone in America under the age of 70 remembers who he was.

Adlai Stevenson was, in my opinion, the greatest President America never had the pleasure of having. He ran for President twice, and was defeated in 2 consecutive landslides. Eisenhower was the ultimate military hero, so it's really no surprise.

When Jack Kennedy took office, he could have picked anyone to be the ambassador to the UN. He was a former rival of Stevenson, and supposedly wasn't too fond of him, but he picked him anyway. During the Cuban Missile Crisis Stevenson proved his worth when he embarrassed the Soviet representative by proving that there were, in fact, missile basis in Cuba. This is the source of his most famous quote: "Don't wait for the translation, answer yes or no!"

Here's a great clip from the movie 13 Days about the Cuban Missile Crisis that illustrates the famous encounter:

What Stevenson was best out, however, was being extremely quotable. Every time I venture over to his Wikiquote page I'm taken aback at how relevant many of the things he said throughout his career are still applicable today, almost 60 years later.

For example:

"I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends... that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them." (Death panels come to mind).

"Patriotism is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime."

"Your days are short here; this is the last of your springs. And now in the serenity and quiet of this lovely place, touch the depths of truth, feel the hem of Heaven. You will go away with old, good friends. And don't forget when you leave why you came."

"Men who have offered their lives for their country know that patriotism is not the fear of something; it is the love of something."

"Nature is indifferent to the survival of the human species, including Americans." (Today it seems like the human species, especially Americans, are indifferent to the survival of nature.)

"I profoundly believe that there is on this horizon, as yet only dimly perceived, a new dawn of conscience. In that purer light, people will come to see themselves in each other, which is to say they will make themselves known to one another by their similarities rather than by their differences. Man's knowledge of things will begin to be matched by man's knowledge of self."

"I have said what I meant and meant what I said. I have not done as well as I should like to have done, but I have done my best, frankly and forthrightly; no man can do more, and you are entitled to no less." (This is from his concession speech).

"But shouting is not a substitute for thinking and reason is not the subversion but the salvation of freedom." (If ever I could say just one thing to Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, or Glenn Beck...)

"In matters of national security emotion is no substitute for intelligence, nor rigidity for prudence. To act coolly, intelligently and prudently in perilous circumstances is the test of a man — and also a nation."

"Freedom is not an ideal, it is not even a protection, if it means nothing more than freedom to stagnate, to live without dreams, to have no greater aim than a second car and another television set."

"The elephant has a thick skin, a head full of ivory, and as everyone who has seen a circus parade knows, proceeds best by grasping the tail of its predecessor."

"Nixon is the kind of politician who would cut down a redwood tree, then mount the stump for a speech on conservation."

"The Republicans stroke platitudes until they purr like epigrams."

"You can tell the size of a man by the size of the thing that makes him mad."

"There are worse things than losing an election; the worst thing is to lose one's convictions and not tell the people the truth." (This was in response to an assertion that his support for a ban on nuclear testing would cost him a lot of votes, if not the election. We need politicians like this again.)

"The best reason I can think of for not running for President of the United States is that you have to shave twice a day."

"Some war hero is always getting in my way." (Said when his car was stopped so Charles De Gaulle's motorcade could pass.)

"Freedom rings where opinions clash."

I'll finish with my favorite one liner. The biggest Republican critics of Stevenson often said that his biggest problem was his intellectual air (yes, these people actually claimed that the biggest problem with a man running for the Presidency was his intelligence), to which Stevenson often replied "Via ovum cranium difficilis est," (the way of the egghead is hard.)

Patriotism

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 23:39:30 GMT

In France, "patriotism" is a completely foreign idea. While most of the French citizenry enjoy living in their home country, the idea that they should somehow feel especially proud to have been born in that specific region of the world is ludicrous.

Here in the US, however, patriotism is paramount. Following the 9/11 attacks and leading up to the invasion of Iraq, many Conservative pundits successfully created an air of fear, partly based on reality, but mostly based on the desire for political advantage. They instilled the idea in the heads of much of the American populous that to dissent was essentially un-American. Despite the obvious fact that, when speaking of our origins, dissent is about as American as you can get, millions of our citizenry were sucked into this ridiculous idea that waving a flag and singing dreadfully annoying Lee Greenwood songs somehow made you a better American.

That's not my kind of Patriotism. To me, patriotism isn't waving an American flag around or loudly stating your willingness to bleed on the stripes to keep them red. Patriotism isn't putting your hand over your heart as you recite the Pledge of Allegiance. Patriotism isn't wearing a flag lapel pin or refusing to admit that America makes mistakes. To me, patriotism is working hard to make America a country from which your children will be proud to have been born, not because we tell them to be, but because they inherently are. Patriotism is knowing what the different aspects of the flag represent. Patriotism is teaching children what the thirty-one words to the Pledge of Allegiance actually mean.

There have been many studies done on the historical competency of American students, most of which have returned disheartening results. A study done in September in Oklahoma (a very 'patriotic' state), for example, revealed that a mere 23% of high-schoolers questioned knew who the first President of the United States was.
Perhaps our children would be better served by being provided a decent education rather than a swift indoctrination.

Typically, I reserve some of my favorite relevant quotes for the end of the blog, but sometimes I feel that what I'm trying to say has been said before by someone much smarter than me. This is one of those times. Adlai Stevenson had this to say about patriotism in 1952:

We talk a great deal about patriotism. What do we mean by patriotism in the context of our times? I venture to suggest that what we mean is a sense of national responsibility which will enable America to remain master of her power — to walk with it in serenity and wisdom, with self-respect and the respect of all mankind; a patriotism that puts country ahead of self; a patriotism which is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime. The dedication of a lifetime — these are words that are easy to utter, but this is a mighty assignment. For it is often easier to fight for principles than to live up to them.

I'm proud to be an American, but I'm sick of being told that patriotism is more physical and emotional than it is intellectual. We're a country that needs to seriously reevaluate its priorities. Like many things American, we're far too concerned with our "frenzied outbursts of emotion," and not near concerned enough with the proper education of those who will inherit the country once we are all gone.

The highest form of respect one can pay to his country is the knowledge of its history and the attempted preservation of its ideals. Knowledge, that is the ultimate form of Patriotism. Not hiding the parts of America's past that we aren't proud of, but exemplifying them. As Edmund Burke once said, "those who do not know history are doomed to repeat it."

Remember, Remember....

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 02:24:15 GMT

Remember remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder, treason
Should ever be forgot.

It's November the fifth, and I'm sure that for most of you that doesn't mean much. But for me, it does. Because this is the day that in 1605, Guy Fawkes and four other conspirators tried to blow up Parliament in response to the persecution of Catholics by the Protestant English government.

Although I do not condone terrorism or the murder of 'innocent' people, I do think that the failure of the Gunpowder Plot is a powerful symbol of what people and their ideas can accomplish. Although the government may have gotten the best of Fawkes and his cronies (they were all executed or imprisoned), their attempt at self liberation would become a motif that would greatly alter the world for the next few hundred years.

The American Revolution, the French Revolution, the Russian Revolution, and countless others have been successful despite the unpreparedness, lack of organization, and obvious lack of governmental support. What one force could enable these people to overcome the aforementioned obstacles? Desire of freedom. Living in America we often take for granted the liberties we are guaranteed by our Constitution, and forget that there are many places in the world who could use a revolution. America, however, is still not as free as it should be. A recent study by the Reporters Without Borders on the freedom of the press, a first amendment right, ranked the United States at 53rd in the world, a figure that is surprisingly ironic considering we've only recently began pulling our troops out of a country in which we were trying to "instill democracy."

I am not an anarchist, I'm not even a Libertarian, but I do think that it is important for the people of a country to keep their governments honest, regardless of political affiliation.

As V said in V for Vendetta, "People should not be afraid of their governments, governments should be afraid of their people!"

We're told to remember the idea rather than the man, because men can fail. Guy Fawkes did fail in blowing up the Houses of Parliament, but the message he was trying to convey would eventually manifest itself in the form of brilliant revolutions all over the globe.

Tonight I have hope for countries like Iran. I have hope that the revolutionary spirit lives on and will continue to help people liberate themselves, because ultimately political action begins within the state itself. Our world has come a long way over the past few hundred years, and I have no doubt that we will continue to progress. We have a long way to go, but but I look forward to trying to help expedite the process.

"While the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth."
-V for Vendetta

Remember that Gay Horse?

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 20:14:10 GMT

out it's not quite dead yet...sorry, but I couldn't resist sharing this:

"My own belief is that there is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror."
-W. Somerset Maugham

BOOBIES!!!!

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 19:53:47 GMT

A friend of mine told me recently that I needed to calm down on this account. "It's too political, too divisive," he said "if you want more feedback and interest you need to appeal to the average American, lay off the politics and religion."

What's more American than boobs? Sure, they come attached to most every woman in the world, but, let's face it, Americans just do it better. Even our kids get excited when faced with a fresh pair of billowing, soft, snuggle-puppies.

Like men's penises (no, not peni, it's penises), American culture often focuses on the size of a woman's boobs. But what does it all really mean? What's too big and too small, and why do we even care anyway? Let's take these questions one at a time.

I. How big are "beautiful" boobs?
The sensitive and accepting answer is "boobs can be beautiful at any size, whether they are a-cups or right on up to double D and beyond." This is true, to a certain extent, but as with most things, the truth can sometimes hurt. Obviously, every man has his own preference. But after some careful (and oddly fun) research, I have come up with what most men (or my friends at least) consider to be the perfect size: 32B or C (depending on your preferred girth:size ratio) Obviously a little fluctuation in either direction is okay, and the frame of the girl can make a huge difference. Big ol' honkin' 32Cs on a girl who is thin as a rail and 5' 3" is going to probably look a little odd.
As far as the "bigger is better" cultural phenomenon, (that pretty much only exists on TV) bigger can be pretty gross, actually. Personally, if I can't get a whole one in my hand, I'm not really interested.

II. What makes boobs so special?
Depends on who you ask. Freudian psychologists will tell you that men like boobs because of their natural desire for their mothers' milk. Most women, when asked, will speculate that men like boobs because we don't have them, which seems kind of silly when you realize that we don't have quite a few body parts that girls have, but we don't obsess over them like we do ta-tas. If you ask a typical man why he's obsessed, he'll probably say something along the lines of "...what? oh, sorry...can you repeat the question again? I was thinking about that chic of there's boobs." Personally I think it's simply because we never get to see them. If we see a girls boobs, chances are we are becoming pretty intimate, it's like a physiological award of achievement.

I used to consider myself more of an ass man than a boob man.

Punny!!!

But lately I've noticed myself getting more into boobs, I'm not sure why, but I'm not going to say I hate it, because frankly there are more nice sets of bazongas out there than there are nice asses.

How do you feel about boobs? Ladies, do you consider your boobs a curse or an asset? Guys, are you a boob guy (a question equatable to 'are you breathing'?). What do you consider to be the perfect size?

“I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we've been voting for boobs long enough.”
-Anonymous (Noticed how I managed to incorporate politics in anyway? I'm good like that.)

Not to Beat a Gay Horse to Death...

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 16:16:49 GMT

Ernest Gaines once asked "Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?"

So, why is it? Why are we as a culture more accepting of violence than we are of many forms of love? Seems to me like the most moral thing possible is to accept, and for that matter, foster, all the consensual love between 2 adults that we can.

A good friend of mine and I made the mistake of getting into this argument this weekend. He's a great guy, very religious but not evangelical or in-your-face about it. I asked why many Christians pick homosexuality as their favorite sin to damn people for, but ignore the sins that the Bible says many of them commit every day, such as wearing jewelry.

Hypocrisy is unbecoming, and homophobia is one of the least moral things I can think of.

If there is a Hell (and I hope with all my heart that there isn't), I'm far more scared for those who would reject love and embrace war than those who did the opposite.

Don't worry Christians, I'll pray for y'all.

"When I was in the military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one."
-Epitaph of Leonard P. Matlovich, 1988

"I am reminded of a colleague who reiterated "all my homosexual patients are quite sick" - to which I finally replied "so are all my heterosexual patients."
-Ernest van den Haag, psychotherapist

"Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS from giving money to television preachers?"
-Elayne Boosler

And for the record, I'm not gay. I only say this because after I posted my last gay-rant I got a message from a very angry young man telling me that I just "couldn't understand how straights view us," and that my assumed homosexuality blinded me from both Jesus and "the truth about gays."

Xanga = Hot Chics

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 22:21:07 GMT

If I had to pick 5 things that I enjoy most in life they would be Shakespeare, Beethoven, my Family, food, and pretty girls. Like most college males, I have a multitude of hormones that occasionally make me incapable of doing anything except beat my chest, make monkey noises, and scratch myself. Men, in general, are interested in fine wine after their 40th birthday, and fine women until whatever age they happen to be when their hoo-haw stops working.

The internet has provided a multitude of new resources that men can use to objectify women. As much as I wish I could say that I never do this, I can't. And you probably can't either.

I'm not going to even try and pretend that I don't notice the attractiveness of Xangan women, because it's too hard not to. I swear that 1 out of every 4 girls on this site are cute (that's a much higher proportion than Facebook or MySpace).

Why, you ask? Well, I think there are two primary reasons.

1. Intelligence augments physical beauty (to me). It's one thing to see a profile picture of a pretty girl, but when that girl can write well, and does so for fun, she's that much sexier.

2. Nobody gets laid by their Xangan friends.
Unless you've been living under a rock for the past few years, you will know that MySpace and Facebook are utilized by many people as a certain kind of free dating service. And when I say "dating service" I really mean brothel. I'll admit it, I've gotten with cute girls because of Facebook, I think it's a valuable tool for all kinds of things, but Xanga, on the other hand, doesn't work that way.
George F. Will once noted that "the nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised." When we look for "hot" members of the opposite sex on sites like FB or MP, the results are usually disappointing. Frankly my personal experience lately is that they just seem to all be either ugly or taken.
Nobody gets on Xanga to find people they hope to bump uglies with, which, in strict accordance with Murphey's law, means that there will of course be a high frequency of people who you would like to show your sexy naked dance.

What do you think? Am I imagining it, or are the girls (and/or guys, if that's your thing) on Xanga generally hotter than those in other internet communities?

"I added you because I thought you were hot, but now that I see the rest of your pictures, meh."
-A girl from MySpace my Freshman Year in High School

The Stars and Bars

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 23:15:33 GMT

If there is one symbol that I hate almost as much as a Swastika, it's the Confederate flag.

My favorite outrageous Obama death threat so far is my friend's uncle who said that he wanted to "wrap that nigger in the Stars and Bars and burn him alive."

Classy.

The morons in South Carolina have gotten themselves into trouble multiple times for flying the flag on state property.

People who support the Confederate flag are fond of calling those of us who do not ignorant. "The Confederate flag," they say "represents states' rights, what the Civil war was truly about, not racism." Or, if they're a little less eloquent, they say something simple like "it's about southern pride!" Presumably before they take a jug from a bottle of Jack Daniels and drive down the dirt road in their Chevy shooting rifles into the air.

I'm a both a student of History and a Southerner, and I find both of these excuses preposterous. Here's why:

1. Yes, the civil war was not about slavery on the whole. Old Abe didn't believe that states could secede from the union, and many of those state's politicians disagreed, so they broke away from the United States. When the war was all said and done with, many things had changed. Lincoln set an important precedent: try to break away from our Union and we'll send a perpetually drunk, semi-corrupt general to kick your Hee-Haw watching asses. The war also ended slavery. Yes, it's true, the 12th, 13th, and 14th amendments (not to mention the Emancipation Proclamation) were all direct results of the Civil War.
The confederate flag may have initially represented State's rights, but it doesn't represent them now any more than the Swastika represents religious righteousness in the Western World today.

2. Southern pride? Really? What, exactly, do we have to be proud of? Our accents? Don't get me wrong, I love my accent, but meh. The south is generally fatter, less-educated, more evangelical, and far less tolerant than the North. Not to mention that we have far more teenage pregnancies, and far worse school systems.

The stars and bars are disgusting. They are the symbolic representation of a country that the United States went to war with. To me, seeing the Confederate flag fly above a state capitol^* is no better than seeing the Japanese, British, North Vietnamese, Mexican, or Third Reich flag.

I wonder which flag Rick Perry would have used if he had actually convinced Texas to secede....

“My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.”
-Robin Williams

^*Grammar fact of the day: Capital is used to signify the city in which the capitol, the building itself, sits.

Plagiarism: Fox News is not a Muse

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 19:00:07 GMT

I'm going to keep this short and sweet.

Read this. It's a featured blog.

Now, read this It's a Fox opinion piece.

Notice any similarities? Yeah, so did I .

This kid has scripture plastered at the top of his page, quoting a book that says little things like ""These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue..." I, personally, would classify publishing something that you knowingly stole from someone else as lying, but I'm sure that since he didn't actually speak his blog with his "lying tongue" it's okay.

Nope, it's not. He's going to burn in Hell for the same sort of abomination that many Christians think the Gays will.

Jackass.

Oh, and thanks to the always fabulous manilajones for bringing this to my attention.

"Those who try to lead the people can only do so by following the mob”
-Oscar Wilde